FML Today » sister

Cats…FML says FML

admin — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:36:47 +0000

Today, it’s my sister’s birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, “This day is not about you, it’s about your sister.” I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

Lonely says FML

admin — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 23:48:16 +0000

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he’d thought I’d tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

Anonymous says FML

admin — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 11:25:26 +0000

Today, after weeks, I’ve finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I’m anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML

Uhh says FML

admin — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 21:47:17 +0000

Today, I was at my sister’s wedding reception. My boyfriend of 3 years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML

NotQuiteAngelinaJolie says FML

admin — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 00:43:25 +0000

Today, I got dressed up for a party. I didn’t notice until after I’d applied my makeup that my sister had swapped out my lip gloss with lip plumper. I’m sure to be a real hit with burning lips to complete my swollen duckface. FML

guttedgirl says FML

admin — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 18:27:59 +0000

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend’s band have become quite popular on youtube. My friends and my sister won’t stop singing their songs. Most of them were written after I dumped him and are saying how much better off he’ll be without me and how horrible I am. FML

myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet says FML

admin — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 15:47:17 +0000

Today, my sister drove passed me while i was walking home in the rain, she honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML

taydean says FML

admin — Thu, 26 May 2011 23:21:30 +0000

Today, my sister and I were eating at Wendy’s. On the way out, I thought it would be funny to kick the door open and yell, “This is Sparta!” I lost my balance and fell flat on my butt. FML

Fatty1970 says FML

admin — Mon, 23 May 2011 07:48:48 +0000

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, “Mommy’s fat and we still give her food.” FML

uetlqdja says FML

admin — Sat, 21 May 2011 18:33:57 +0000

Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML

babygirl123 says FML

admin — Fri, 20 May 2011 21:31:37 +0000

Today, my sister and I spent the afternoon watching The Princess and the Frog. We spent the rest of the day violently arguing over how hot the animated prince was. FML

simonjudy says FML

admin — Sat, 14 May 2011 23:41:46 +0000

Today, my sister and I both got “good luck” cards for our aunt wishing us well on our exams. My sister’s said “We know you will do well”. Mine said “We will love you no matter what happens”. FML

scalmon says FML

admin — Fri, 13 May 2011 22:33:50 +0000

Today, while making love to my wife, I let slip her sister’s name. I don’t think it would calm her down much if I told the truth: I was actually thinking of an ex girlfriend who shares the same name. FML

gummy says FML

admin — Sat, 07 May 2011 00:10:22 +0000

Today, my sister was bored and started swinging a golf club around her head. I had to ask her a question, and thinking once she heard my voice she’d put the club down, I walked towards her. She hit me straight in the mouth with the putter, knocking my front teeth out. FML

Forever_Alone says FML

admin — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 07:12:26 +0000

Today, I found out my sister is getting married and asked if I could help in any way. She said “No thanks, we’re going to have it done by a professional wedding planner.” I’m a professional wedding planner. FML

LittleSis says FML

admin — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 21:58:05 +0000

Today, my sister was taking me to have my fractured hand X-rayed. A giant spider crawled up her leg as she put the car in reverse. She jumped out. Now I’m waiting for the doctor to set the bones I re-fractured by pulling the handbrake to stop the car rolling down the street. FML

samikai523 says FML

admin — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 23:58:55 +0000

Today, my sister told me she didn’t want me in her wedding pictures because I looked fat in my bridesmaid’s dress. FML

Xanadu says FML

admin — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 11:31:49 +0000

Today, I made a video for a school tour of my apartment in German. The walls in my apartment are thin, so you could hear my sister having phone sex in her room in the background. FML

levi Glasscock says FML

admin — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 18:52:27 +0000

Today, my mom called me and said, “I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants.” I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML

fmyhabit says FML

admin — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 10:27:54 +0000

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML