Posts Tagged ‘store’

Today, my store got a new carpet put in for the waiting room. I tripped on the ‘watch your step’ sign I put down and spilt my coffee all over the new carpet. FML

Today, as I was buying carrots, a little red light started flashing and an alarm sounded. Curious, I looked up, only to get sprayed in the face by a sprinkler for the produce section of the store. FML

Today, I thought I would try and impress some really hot girls in the parking lot with my friends by flipping off an SUV. Their boyfriends were inside the SUV watching them walk into the store. They chased me for a good 10 minutes. FML

Today, I was twenty minutes into babysitting my twin baby cousins when I realized that there are no diapers to be found anywhere in the house. I have no way to get a hold of my aunt, no money to buy new diapers, and I don’t even have a way to get to the store in the first place. The next few hours are going to be lovely. FML

Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground. I took it to the store to buy a new pair of shoes. When I gave it to the cashier, he hit a button that calls 911. The bill was counterfeit. FML

Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn’t him. FML

Today, it was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, and said: “Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world.” My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

Today, while I was at work, I thought I threw my keys in a laundry chute by accident. I had to get my store manager’s keys and try to open it. After we tried opening the chute for over an hour and thinking we lost her keys in the process, I found both keys in my pocket. FML

Today, I was at the grocery store. I kept bumping into this cute guy while shopping, and it was a huge ego boost that he was going out of his way to run into me. I was feeling really good until I realized why; it was cold in the store and my nipples were standing at attention. FML

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML