FML Today » store

Anonymous says FML

admin — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 04:14:05 +0000

Today, I was walking down the street, when an ageing lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being “such a nice young man”. It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she had pickpocketed me of my wallet. FML

AndyAnonymous says FML

admin — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 09:21:45 +0000

Today, I brought several bags of soda cans to the store to cash in. I hadn’t shaved, and my coat had fur all over from my cat rubbing on it. The lady in front of me turned around, looked at my bags and me and said, “It’s a lot of money people throw away, isn’t it?” Apparently, I look homeless. FML

burr415 says FML

admin — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 04:55:20 +0000

Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, “Yeah, I thought so.” They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML

mockable says FML

admin — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 16:36:16 +0000

Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a “great” impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it’s really funny. FML

truth says FML

admin — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:25:03 +0000

Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML

Marc says FML

admin — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 03:51:14 +0000

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

Marc says FML

admin — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 03:51:08 +0000

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

CaityLovesBo says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 02:57:53 +0000

Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML

Anonymous says FML

admin — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 23:27:33 +0000

Today, my phone froze. Thankfully, all I have to do is take it into the store. Unfortunately, it froze while I was watching porn. FML

picklemonger says FML

admin — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 00:00:37 +0000

Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML

Anonymous says FML

admin — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 00:27:20 +0000

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I’m still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

sarahwittman says FML

admin — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 08:21:35 +0000

Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, “Oh, I’ll get it!” and pulled out her wallet. FML

MusicNerd says FML

admin — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 21:57:42 +0000

Today, I went to the store to pick up a music book that I had ordered, called “40 Studies for Clarinet”. It turns out that the book was seperated into 3 different parts, and the book they ordered for me was only numbers 1-20. I need number 21. FML

Trippy Penguin says FML

admin — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 07:54:30 +0000

Today, I accidentally forgot my glasses in a store bathroom. When I finally noticed, I went back to find that someone was wearing them as he was walking out of the store. I didn’t have the balls to call him out on it. FML

SadCakebaker says FML

admin — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 18:36:28 +0000

Today, I had brought in a cake to my class as part of an extra credit assignment. I had spent the entirety of yesterday making everything from scratch after three attempts. Only the teacher and I ate a slice; everyone else wanted to eat the store-bought cake with coconut cream filling. FML

NotTheDaddy says FML

admin — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 01:06:00 +0000

Today, my wife was tired, so to give her some quiet time, I took our daughters out grocery shopping. A woman at the store asked my four year old if she was having fun with her daddy. She answered, “He’s not my real daddy.” FML

iamlauraheremecry says FML

admin — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 11:57:05 +0000

Today, my power went out due to a huge snow storm. I was in desperate need of candles and flashlights. I had to walk to the store since the roads were closed. I walked 4 miles in the blizzard. When I got home, the power came back on. FML

cain001 says FML

admin — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 08:48:46 +0000

Today, my boss and I were stacking boxes in the back room of the store. One of the boxes fell and hit me in the face, causing me to lose my glasses. My boss stepped on my glasses as she ran to check the box for broken merchandise, which I then had to pay for. FML

insultedguy says FML

admin — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 23:37:59 +0000

Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn’t seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: “Look who got even fatter.” FML

Lucy Reed says FML

admin — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 21:39:20 +0000

Today, I decided to buy a sex toy. The man in the store automatically realized my last name (off the credit card) and proceeded to tell me how my mother is his biggest customer. He even suggested things that my mother loves. FML