FML Today » the-bathroom

seaweedlady says FML

admin — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 18:17:51 +0000

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

armaty says FML

admin — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 08:38:36 +0000

Today, I was in the bathroom at the airport when I noticed I’d run out of toilet paper. I tried to reach under the next stall to grab some, when someone held my hand and said, “Two can play at this game” in a perverted voice. All I wanted was toilet paper. FML

liynda says FML

admin — Fri, 06 May 2011 08:01:25 +0000

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

greenintheface says FML

admin — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 18:44:08 +0000

Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me until I heard, “Honey, what did you make me for dinner?” FML

Riley says FML

admin — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 14:28:52 +0000

Today, my grandma got up at 6:30am, clattered about the bathroom then sang religious songs at the top of her voice for half an hour. Apparently this is her normal routine, weekends included. She is staying with us for a month. FML.

American idol says FML

admin — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 11:07:04 +0000

Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML

hellosir says FML

admin — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 23:21:04 +0000

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn’t find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else’s fresh vomit. FML

cleangirl says FML

admin — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 11:42:33 +0000

Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said ‘What the hell’s this?’. I told him what it was for, and he said ‘You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?’. It wasn’t a female thing. It was shampoo. FML

devinbyrne says FML

admin — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 03:36:54 +0000

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

JustADream says FML

admin — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 16:01:24 +0000

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

shitoutofluck says FML

admin — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 18:43:59 +0000

Today, I noticed that whenever my step-daughters take a dump in the bathroom, they deliberately leave the seat up so my wife thinks I did it. FML

509 says FML

admin — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 15:59:36 +0000

Today, I had severe diarrhea while at a shopping center. I barely made it to the bathroom, and exploded as I was in the process of sitting down. It splashed onto the wall and the back of the toilet. After cleaning the wall and rejoining my wife, she let me know I had shit up my back. FML

weezer says FML

admin — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 18:56:39 +0000

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That’s how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

NeverUsingPublicBathroomsAgain says FML

admin — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 11:53:39 +0000

Today, I was using the bathroom at a mall. I noticed a broom starting to sweep under the stall door. It stopped suddenly and I looked up just in time to see the janitor looking through the crack of the stall, notice I was in there, and walk off. FML

no more tp says FML

admin — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 12:14:15 +0000

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette’s. FML

Valerie says FML

admin — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 01:23:51 +0000

Today, after climbing out of the bath, I realized there were no towels in the bathroom. I called out, asking if anyone was home. Not getting an answer, I ran down the stairs and through the house to my room. My dad and his friends were in the living room and saw everything. FML

Kay says FML

admin — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 11:39:57 +0000

Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML

Scaredwitless says FML

admin — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 08:15:12 +0000

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

jester777 says FML

admin — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 00:51:15 +0000

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend’s house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6’5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

GuillermoCJ says FML

admin — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 11:39:24 +0000

Today, I was at my girlfriend’s house and had to go to the bathroom. While peeing, I had a cough atack. The cough shaked my body, making me pee all over my pants. My girlfriend’s parents just arrived. FML