Posts Tagged ‘the-door’

123456789 says FML

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love when I turn to find my brother standing at the door watching. Later I asked him how much he saw, he said “I saw from the part where you were both taking off your clothes to the part where she started screaming”. He had also told my mum. FML

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Zaivon says FML

Monday, July 19th, 2010

Today, the door bell rang, and immigration was at our door. After an hour of talking to them, I found out that I was actually born in Canada, living in the US illegally. We’re all being deported next week. FML

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Daniel says FML

Sunday, June 27th, 2010

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

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Th3BaconNinja says FML

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, “Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom.” I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

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thanksmum says FML

Saturday, May 29th, 2010

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn’t miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I’m scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, “I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today.” FML

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Rebecca says FML

Saturday, May 29th, 2010

Today, the door to my house wasn’t unlocking. I stood outside for 30 minutes, banging on the door for my boyfriend to open up. Finally, I kicked it open and discovered a couple making out. Turns out my apartment was the next one over. FML

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EmbarrassedDaughter says FML

Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don’t know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying “Thats an expensive bed.” FML

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blackraincloud says FML

Thursday, May 20th, 2010

Today, I woke up to find my landlord and a maintenance man entering my apartment. Startled, I angrily told them they couldn’t enter since they hadn’t give 24 hours notice and slammed the door on them. They actually had given notice. My wife forgot to tell me. FML

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lonelyloser333 says FML

Tuesday, May 11th, 2010

Today, I met the guy I love’s fiancĂ©e. It turns out, she’s amazingly gorgeous, so I thought to myself that she’s probably a real b*****. She actually held the door open for me and was really friendly. I thought to myself, well, she has to be really stupid then. She’s training to be a doctor. FML

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exposed_eagle says FML

Saturday, May 8th, 2010

Today, I was using the bathroom at a school where I was substituting. Just when I was putting a tampon in, the door opened. A teacher stood there in shock, seeing my legs spread directly facing her. FML

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