Posts Tagged ‘the-entire’

Today, my professor spent the entire class showing us how to make paper airplanes. I pay over 40 grand a year for college. FML

Today, the pipe in the dining room sink suddenly broke open and in about 15 minutes my entire apartment was turned into an indoor swimming pool. The worst part? I was there the entire time, playing video games with my headphones on. FML

Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we’ve been out this week. She didn’t even eat her food. I didn’t even get a thank you. FML

Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout “Very Nice! I Excite!” while having sex. He’s also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML

Today, after thinking that my college roommate wouldn’t be replaced at this point in the semester, I rearranged my things to take up the entire room. Almost as soon as I finished, a new one showed up at my door, no warning given. FML

Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML

Today, while making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a chair less than two feet away from the bed. She made idle conversation with us for the next 15 minutes. My fiancé was still inside me the entire time. FML

Today, I found my brother tampering with my laptop. He had changed the entire settings, in ways I don’t even know how to fix. I finally had to get my mom to threaten him to change it back to its original setting. I’m 15. He’s six and can barely get dressed by himself. FML

Today, I was playing a math game with a 4th grade boy (I’m a college graduate). I cheated during the entire game, and still lost 7 of the 9 rounds we played. FML

Today, I tried to open the research paper I’ve been working on for the past month, only to discover that the entire file is permanently lost and can’t be recovered. This is not the first time this has happened to this paper. FML

Today, I was having amazing sex with my boyfriend for the first time and I had to hold in a huge fart the entire time. I couldn’t get off because I was too busy clenching my butt cheeks. FML

Today, I was assigned to a perverted, old man while I was working in a nursing home. He had been hitting on me the entire morning and had even smacked my ass during meal time. He later took a crap in my hand when I was told to give him a shower. FML

Today, while walking with dad through a bookstore, he stops to pick up “America’s Best Erotica 2008″ and says loudly, “Who would buy this stuff?” After finding what I came for, I catch him reading erotica, again. Startled, he knocks down the entire erotica section shelf. FML

Today, I found out that there’s nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you’re 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML