FML Today » the-girl

played says FML

admin — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:10:22 +0000

Today, the girl I’ve been dating for several months, and fallen in love with, said “We’re just friends, right? My mom thinks I’m leading you on.” FML

teased says FML

admin — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 15:20:36 +0000

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When we came, he moaned the name of the girl that has a crush on him, to see what my reaction would be like. My orgasm was instantly over. FML

Someguy says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 22:40:10 +0000

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn’t have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

longlostkid556 says FML

admin — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 10:43:15 +0000

Today, the girl that I have a crush on was over to work on a project. My dad then rushed into the room, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

kerdersty says FML

admin — Mon, 30 May 2011 07:36:45 +0000

Today, I was snowboarding when a skier cut me off, resulting in me colliding with a 12 year old girl. The girl was totally fine, and I was alright except for a slight nose bleed. I apologized to the girl, then her mom hit me over the back with a ski pole as I snowboarded away. FML

fedemere says FML

admin — Sat, 28 May 2011 14:33:39 +0000

Today, I finally told the girl I’ve been after for more than a year that I’m attracted to her. Her response? A slight hug with a pat on the back as she said “There, there.” FML

Fuckit says FML

admin — Sat, 28 May 2011 11:04:41 +0000

Today, the girl I love made me text my best friend how much she loved him. This because her phone died. I was at the movies with her on our date. FML

Fred says FML

admin — Thu, 26 May 2011 11:04:51 +0000

Today, I went to hand in a resume. The secretary happened to be a girl I liked in high school. When leaving, I shook hands with the employer, waved goodbye to the girl, turned around and walked straight into a glass wall. FML

ocean555 says FML

admin — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 08:13:24 +0000

Today, I discovered that my facebook profile picture, of me between my boyfriend and a friend, is actually me between my boyfriend and the girl he has been cheating on me with. FML

straightasaneedle says FML

admin — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 22:19:24 +0000

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I’ve had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, “But aren’t you gay?” FML

MCKilllerrr says FML

admin — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 13:05:18 +0000

Today, the girl I really liked started talking to me, so I asked her out on a date. After waiting an hour at the theatre, I texted her asking where she was. She replied with, “Oh!! You were serious about the date?!” FML

drfrogpepper says FML

admin — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 01:59:49 +0000

Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML

ringhider says FML

admin — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 22:50:59 +0000

Today, I was working my shift at the restaurant as a waiter when the girl I’ve been in love with for 4 years came in with her boyfriend. He asked me to hide the ring in their dessert. FML

captiancurt says FML

admin — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 07:53:12 +0000

Today, the girl of my dreams handed me a heart shaped card. On the front, it reads “You + me =”. I open up the card and read the word “NOTHING!”. FML

lonelybridetobe says FML

admin — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 08:17:13 +0000

Today, my fiancé is having his bachelor’s party. I was planning on going out with a large number of friends and was looking forward to a wild night out. All of them canceled. Every last one. Including the girl who had planned the bachelorette party. FML

braceface says FML

admin — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 17:54:01 +0000

Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I’ve been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML

StressedPharmacist says FML

admin — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 08:00:35 +0000

Today, the girl who is obsessed with me had her prescriptions transferred to the Pharmacy that I work at. Not only is she stalking me, but now I know that she takes medication to control her psychotic episodes and random bouts of depression. FML

whattodo says FML

admin — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 18:42:58 +0000

Today, I found out the girl I’ve been attracted to for months is actually a guy. FML

SummerGuy says FML

admin — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 08:19:23 +0000

Today, I was finally asked out by the girl I love to the movies. I was so excited and got dressed in my best looking clothes. When I got to the movies, she told me “there’s my ex, now hold my hand to make him jealous.” She used me. FML

TheSickness says FML

admin — Fri, 28 May 2010 11:21:48 +0000

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn’t want to get me sick. I told her, “If hugging you gets me sick, then I’ll just have to deal with being sick.” She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven’t stopped puking since. FML