Today, I told my best friend that I was pregnant and that I really needed her support. Shocked, she asked me who the father was. She then called me a backstabbing whore and stormed off. Apparently she is jealous that I had sex with a boy who turned her down a year ago. FML
Today, I fell down a flight of stairs. The guy behind me was kind enough to ask if I was okay. He then called his friends over so they could laugh at me. FML
Today, I didn’t have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, “Don’t talk about me, bitch!” and wouldn’t open the door. FML
Today, I got the haircut I’ve been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I’m scared to go. FML
Today my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML