FML Today » toilet

lyss-uh says FML

admin — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 23:36:23 +0000

Today, I used a port-a-potty for the first time. Thinking the urinal was a shelf to put my stuff in, I placed my phone and purse inside. My phone received a text, vibrated, and slid down the hole into the toilet. Both my purse and phone now reek of pee. FML

DyingOfShame says FML

admin — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 07:53:30 +0000

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his Grandparents house. It said ‘Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and tooth brushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?’ FML

prego says FML

admin — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 18:58:20 +0000

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

needsagf14 says FML

admin — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 23:38:54 +0000

Today, my toilet overflowed when I flushed it in the middle of the night. I couldn’t do anything about it without waking my parents up, so I had to leave the mess on the floor. When I woke up, I forgot it was there and stepped in it. FML

Ashley says FML

admin — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 00:56:56 +0000

Today, I found out that the foot scrubber I have been using for years is actually a tool to clean the inside of the toilet bowl. FML

Ihatewindowcleaners. says FML

admin — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 18:42:46 +0000

Today, my new window cleaner came to clean the windows of my house. Seeing the first window of the top floor, he decided to start there. The first window of the top floor is my toilet. I was having a poo. FML

IneedABathroom. says FML

admin — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 02:15:12 +0000

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend in his one bedroom/ one bath apartment. Soon after moving in, I discovered he never unclogs his toilet because “sooner or later, it’ll unclog itself.” FML

letsget_TOAST says FML

admin — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 18:25:22 +0000

Today, my best friend accidentally dropped my iPod touch in the lake. Yesterday, that same friend dropped my cell phone in the toilet. FML

sigh… says FML

admin — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 15:23:07 +0000

Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML

Slappy_The_Ninja says FML

admin — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 10:19:44 +0000

Today, my mother is so drunk that she is singing while sitting on the toilet. At 1am . FML

anxious says FML

admin — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 18:14:17 +0000

Today, I had to work a double shift at work. My manager knows I have an anxiety disorder and am prone to panic attacks, so he offered me some valium to help cope with the stress. Turns out it wasn’t valium, it was laxatives. I had a panic attack on the toilet and passed out from hyperventilating. FML

Clogged says FML

admin — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 10:48:27 +0000

Today, my boyfriend took a dump in my toilet. He came into my room, laughing, saying he clogged the toilet. I didn’t believe him, so I checked. When I looked, the water was just really low, so I flushed. It quickly rose and started overflowing, flooding the bathroom. My socks got wet. FML

eww. says FML

admin — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 10:26:02 +0000

Today, I learned why people bend over the toilet bowl while puking. If you stand up and puke, you can’t aim and you will have to clean up the puke that flew all over the bathroom. FML

kidsthesedays says FML

admin — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 18:09:01 +0000

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son is obsessed with dogs. This wouldn’t have been a problem, but he does everything they do, including drinking from the toilet. FML

JaZzie_dUh says FML

admin — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 22:38:35 +0000

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was on the toilet. FML

vinch says FML

admin — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 22:47:29 +0000

Today, I desperately had to go to the toilet. I realised there was no toilet paper. As if walking from one room to another with my pants around my ankles and shit on my ass wasn’t bad enough, my neighbours had a good look at me through my window while waiting for me to answer the door. FML

jones says FML

admin — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 22:30:19 +0000

Today, the toilet and bathtub are both stopped up. Not only can I not shower, but I had to shit in the trash can. FML

Kagura says FML

admin — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 18:34:20 +0000

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant’s entrance, called out and asked: “Did you flush it?” Everyone heard her. And I’m 22 years old. FML

Fizzmopper says FML

admin — Thu, 27 May 2010 14:14:34 +0000

Today, my parents are watching a plumber unclog a pipe in our house. Last night I flushed a used condom down the toilet. FML

rkl2010 says FML

admin — Sun, 23 May 2010 21:55:01 +0000

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she’d “accidentally” tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML