Today, I was helping my mom with our horse stable. I was done with my work and leaned up against a wall to talk to her. All of the window shutters are suppose to be attached to the wall, I leaned under the only one that wasn’t. The 50lb shutter came down and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by showing up outside her window at night. She looked at me, mouthing to me through the window, “Do you like me?” I smiled and said back, “Yes! A lot!” Turns out she said, “Do you lie to me?” She won’t talk to me. FML
Today, I got pulled over and was given a $100 ticket for littering. The “litter” that the cop saw me toss out the window was actually a stray hair of mine that I had picked off my shoulder. He didn’t believe me. FML.
Today, I made my mom a mix CD for her car so we could listen to it when we were in the car. It took me ages to find just the right songs, and I thought it would be perfect for her. When I played it for her in the car, she took it out, rolled down the window, then threw it out the window. FML
Today, while playing my Xbox 360, I got so pissed that I took it and threw it out the window. It hit my mom’s brand new car. FML
Today, while trying to watch the fireworks from my apartment window, my kitten startled me and the blinds I was holding onto came off the window and smacked me in the face. I gave myself a black eye. Happy Independence Day to me. FML
Today, I went to a party at my friends house. After playing a few rounds of a drinking game, I turn abruptly, causing my chair to hit a box near her window which in turn shattered the window. Not only did I buy the beer for that party but now I owe $135. FML
Today, as a prank, I set my wallpaper on my iTouch to a photo that makes the screen look broken. I pretended to freak out, showing my dad that it broke. Good news: My prank worked. Bad news: He threw the iTouch out the window in rage. It had 59 gigs in it. FML
Today, I was driving down the road with my windows down when a wasp flew in through the window, stinging me in the face. I’m highly allergic to wasps. While flailing about, a cop saw and pulled me over and gave me a ticket for reckless driving while half of my face was swelling up. FML