FML Today » year-old

muddygal says FML

admin — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 21:48:40 +0000

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

higgy13 says FML

admin — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 21:48:35 +0000

Today, I was ridiculed by a 50 year old woman because I told her we couldn’t accept her food stamps. I work at a hardware store. FML

stepmom says FML

admin — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 16:15:17 +0000

Today, I was explaining to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband’s first marriage lives with her mommy and my little girl lives with us. She exclaimed ‘It’s not fair! I want two mommies like she has, maybe we could swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!’ FML

Ann says FML

admin — Tue, 31 May 2011 20:42:21 +0000

Today, my 12 year old cousin decided that “all men are pigs” and deleted every male contact in my phone. FML

kerdersty says FML

admin — Mon, 30 May 2011 07:36:45 +0000

Today, I was snowboarding when a skier cut me off, resulting in me colliding with a 12 year old girl. The girl was totally fine, and I was alright except for a slight nose bleed. I apologized to the girl, then her mom hit me over the back with a ski pole as I snowboarded away. FML

kaileigh10 says FML

admin — Wed, 18 May 2011 07:30:23 +0000

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

yobruh says FML

admin — Tue, 17 May 2011 15:38:38 +0000

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He’d written “Chuck Norris” as the answer for every question on his test. FML

blewidstepr says FML

admin — Mon, 16 May 2011 08:24:43 +0000

Today, I realized my 3 year old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year old father. FML

homegirl says FML

admin — Sun, 15 May 2011 07:55:08 +0000

Today, my 45 year old mother came home from a party at 4 in the morning. I’m 16 and went to bed at 8pm last night. FML

Plasticface says FML

admin — Sat, 14 May 2011 18:55:38 +0000

Today, I found there was a 4 year old boy in back of me on the airplane. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he whacked the water bottle in my face. I now have a black eye. FML

IhateThem says FML

admin — Sat, 14 May 2011 10:44:10 +0000

Today, I found out that my neighbors’ 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

Whatdididowrong? says FML

admin — Tue, 10 May 2011 09:51:42 +0000

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

rawrkitler says FML

admin — Sun, 08 May 2011 18:06:12 +0000

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that our 84 year old landlady upstairs has more friends than we do. FML

Whizz says FML

admin — Wed, 04 May 2011 07:34:04 +0000

Today, while at work, I wet myself. I released so much urine, a puddle of it formed around my feet. Apparently, I’m an 18 year old with incontinence. FML

armywife980 says FML

admin — Tue, 03 May 2011 11:29:23 +0000

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of “Stranger Danger,” we had gone the park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming “Stranger! Don’t touch me!” FML

gottapee says FML

admin — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 08:22:00 +0000

Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I’ve spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML

nomorexbox says FML

admin — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 22:14:22 +0000

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, “If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?” FML

parentof5 says FML

admin — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 18:32:11 +0000

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said “When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you.” I am her dad. FML

Jaredsparks says FML

admin — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 21:57:49 +0000

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked if we could go to the doctor and get her on “the pill.” FML

ForeverAlone says FML

admin — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 05:00:27 +0000

Today, after watching over my drunken mother all last night to make sure she didn’t choke on her own vomit, I came to the conclusion that at the age of 53, she’s more of a party animal than I ever will be. I’m a 22 year old man. FML